Women’s sobriety circle guidelines
By booking and participating in these online circles, you are agreeing to the following guidelines, to ensure that the sessions are a safe and confidential place for every woman who attends.
Arrive a few minutes before the circle is due to begin. Entry to the circle will close 5 minutes after the starting time. This means you won’t be able to join the Zoom call after this time. This is to avoid disruption for the circle for those present. If you will be too late to attend, please let me know and you can join another circle at a later date.
We agree to show up fully: I really encourage you to have your camera on for the duration of the circle. And you are so welcome to show up however you are: tired, grumpy, unwell, in bed. Please ensure you are in a quiet, private space where no one will interrupt you. Please do not attend the call if you are driving or doing other things so that you can be fully present.
We agree to attend sober: Please do not attend if you have drunk alcohol or taken drugs. If you need support, please reach out to me privately.
One person talks at a time: We honour each woman’s voice by allowing her the space to share her story without interruption. I will also use time allocation to ensure everyone gets equal opportunity to share, indicated by a wave of my hand.
Listen actively and compassionately: This means giving the person sharing your full attention, and listening with an open-heart. We may not always agree with each other, but we can still find value in our differences and know that each of us is worthy of respect and compassion.
Acknowledge what has been said, without feedback or advice: This is a simple but truly powerful practice, both for the speaker and the listeners. After each share we can acknowledge the speaker has been heard by putting a hand on our heart or raising up our hands. I will offer simple words of thanks and welcome to acknowledge each person has been heard fully.
In our shares, we keep our focus on ourselves: Unless someone has explicitly asked for advice, when we share we agree to only speak about our own experience. You may wish to say ‘Ellie’s share really resonated with me’ but please do not question or criticise anyone else’s opinions or personal experiences.
Maintain confidentiality: We agree not to share any personal details or anything shared in the circle outside of the circle.
We welcome and respect all sobriety journeys: We welcome women at any stage in their journey – whether they are just beginning to explore their relationship with alcohol, or have been alcohol free for years. We respect any method or model of recovery people have used.
We welcome all emotions: Tears are welcome. Anger is welcome. Silence is welcome. We make space for and respect each woman’s self-expression. Please bear in mind that in circle there is the potential for people to share raw emotions and speak from very tender places. Before joining the circle, please check in with yourself that you feel able to hold space for others as well as to be held yourself. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, please take care of yourself. You can reach out to me after the circle by email if anything has come up for that you would like support with.
We take radical responsibility for ourselves: Participation in meditations and sharing is always optional. Listen to your body and know you can always meet your needs to lie down, move, get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, cry, journal. If you do not wish to share, that is more than welcome. Sitting in silence is powerful in itself.
Feedback is welcome: I want this space to be co-created to best serve the needs of this community. If you have any feedback or suggestions, they are very welcome. Please email me after the circle at hello@ellie-nova.com