How to quit drinking without using willpower
If you’ve tried to quit drinking or take a break from alcohol using willpower, you’ve probably discovered that:
It didn’t last.
It was miserable and you felt like you were missing out.
When you went back to drinking, you were drinking just as much as before and nothing seemed to have changed.
Firstly, I want to say: a huge well done to you! It takes real courage to be honest with yourself about your relationship with alcohol and to try to make a change.
Secondly, don’t worry. If using willpower to quit drinking didn’t work for you, I have great news. There is another way that will enable you to get to a place where alcohol no longer has control over you and you have no desire to drink.
Why using willpower to quit drinking doesn’t work
Alcohol is a highly potent and addictive drug. As soon as you’ve had that first drink, it changes your brain chemistry. And as the positive effects of the alcohol wear off, you feel worse than before you had that first drink, and so you want another one. This is one of the reasons it’s so difficult to ‘just have one’.
Willpower involves you telling yourself that you shouldn’t drink alcohol (or should drink less), even though it’s great. Yet you’re still believing that alcohol is helping you in some way. So you create a sense of restriction and denial, telling yourself you can’t have something wonderful that other people are enjoying.
The moment you’re stressed, exhausted or anxious, it becomes incredibly difficult and even impossible to say no to a drink, when you believe that that drink will help relieve your suffering.
Solely using willpower to quit or cut down on drinking means you’re not looking at the underlying reasons you’re drinking, or the beliefs you have about how alcohol is helping you.
So what do you do instead?
You need to start looking at the underlying positive beliefs you have about alcohol and question whether they are true.
Ask yourself:
How is alcohol helping me? e.g. ‘Alcohol helps relieve my anxiety.’
Is it really true? e.g. ‘Does alcohol really relieve my anxiety?’
Could the opposite be true? What evidence do I have for that? e.g. ‘Alcohol makes my anxiety worse. The day after drinking, I always feel more anxious.’
Write down every belief you can think of and go through each one with this process.
The next time you drink, notice what happens
Really notice how the alcohol tastes and smells. If you believe ‘I like the taste of alcohol’, really notice the smell and taste of ethanol in your drink. Remember that you had to teach yourself to ‘like’ that taste. It’s poison, and your body doesn’t want to drink it.
Notice if it’s doing what you hoped. Is it really helping your relax, or is it making you feel a bit tired and dizzy? Are you behaving like yourself? Are you really connecting with people or just drinking to fit in and hide who you really are?
The next day: how are you feeling? Do you feel more anxious? Is your mood low? Do you find yourself eating junk food and being irritable and less present? Are you tired because alcohol messed up your sleep?
Was a few hours of escape worth it for a day (or several days) of feeling so much worse than before you had that first drink?
How a sober coach can help
If you’re ready to dive in and explore your beliefs about alcohol, I’d love to support you. In our one-to-one sessions you will have a space to reflect honestly. I will gently ask you questions to help you uncover the truth for yourself.
I tried using willpower to quit drinking, and it didn’t work. I felt hopeless, helpless and full of shame. Once I discovered this radical new way to quit drinking, I was finally able to get sober and I’m now nearly six years free from alcohol, with no desire to drink.
I’d love to help you get there too. You can book a free, no-strings-attached chat with me today.
